A Tumultuous Day

The day nurse was one that we’d had before. She remembered us and that we were plant-based, even though I think she disapproved. She also remembered how we don’t like the cafeteria food trays to be opened, joking about the smell. I had a union meeting this morning. It was actually at our downtown place under the gazebo, though they may have been a little cold this morning. I called in to make my treasurer’s report and take the minutes. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve done that in a hospital before!

The transplant surgical team came by while I was on the phone, of course. I didn’t realize who they were at first, so I stayed on the phone. It’s hard enough getting things done in the hospital. I’ve missed the last couple of meetings because we’ve been here, so I was trying my best to take care of my obligations here and there. The surgeon was a cocky one, like many, so I was put off quickly. He asked the typical questions. When he got to where we live, Amanda mentioned we would relocate. He then pressed on us a little. He seemed to think that with the high antibodies, we needed to go to another center. Asking us if we could relocate to Los Angeles. I popped back quickly, about how we talked to Dr Nair, our cardiologist, and he confirmed with the pathologist that the numbers were low enough to get a heart here in Houston. 

I felt he was throwing his weight around, and when I mentioned Dr. Nair’s name, he seemed a little agitated. I think these board meetings are like anything and are political. A lot of measuring of egos, and his seemed to need to be stoked. Maybe he wanted the shock factor. I was mad that news like this would come from a doctor we just met and poor bedside manner to even bring it up. Either way, we felt a little lost for a bit. Amanda is a wreck and super worried. I wasn’t so concerned; I have a logistical mind, and it wasn’t like I hadn’t already thought of this. There was a plan in the back of my mind on how we could make that work if needed. I was just mad that this doctor dropped it on us when we didn’t even know him, and we’d already been told we could be listed here. There’s enough stress with a retransplant and worries about relocation to Houston, much less Los Angeles, so why would he drop that on us?

Amanda thought he was mad because I was on the phone. I put it down the minute he got serious, and I needed to advocate. Any one of the team that usually sees us would testify to my advocating. I’m not sorry I didn’t give him the reverence he thought he deserved, either! Surgeons are like fighter pilots; neither can find a cockpit big enough to fit their egos. If you want to be cocky do that amongst others in your own field not the average Joe. I don’t care how well you fly a plane or wield a 10 blade, nor does anyone else outside your field! In a meeting, if he felt he needed to take this position, I’d be okay with it, but not directly to us. It caused undue stress on both of us. Not everything should be a shoo-in, and there needs to be discussion from both sides. I feel there should be balance in the medical board meeting, and maybe he needed to play devil’s advocate. Sometimes, I do that to have a fair conversation on a subject. He just didn’t need to be our devil. Okay, I’ll be quiet about the surgeon for a little while! I wasn’t that worried because I didn’t think Dr. Nair would have done us dirty like that and led us to believe the opposite.

I may not have been mad typing, but I was mad pondering out the window, not sitting down. I was ready to fire on someone and had called the coordinator on call to have the PA we like or the inpatient coordinator call me. I wanted to speak with Dr. Nair to help calm Amanda’s nerves. While I was still pondering, the team was outside. I told Amanda I was going to let them have it! It was a new lady doc we’d not seen yet. They ordered the Bumex again, and she wanted it scheduled, so Amanda wasn’t waiting for them to come by before she got a dose. After she was done I questioned what Dr. douche bag had told us. She was like Oh. I told her what Dr. Nair had said about the numbers and that we’d like to speak with him. She made it clear to the NP that we wanted to talk with him.

The inpatient coordinator, the one who likes to sit down, came by to talk. She came to tell us that they would present Amanda’s case to the medical board tomorrow. I was quick to say to her that I’d put in a call for her to call. I explained all that Dr D-bag had said. She rolled her eyes and said not to put much into it. Mentioning he’s a surgeon, not someone specialized in antibodies like the pathologist who said we could get a heart here. After that, I was off to the children’s hospital food court to see if I could find a veggie sushi or summer roll for Amanda.

I returned from the lunch run with the smallest $10 summer roll ever. I knew I should have just gotten some emotional support waffle fries instead! I was getting some ice right after that and noticed a man who’d been here a while. They were neighbors when we had another room, so we passed each other in the hall and swapped hellos many times. I asked how he was. He needed to talk and unloaded on me. He told me all about his daughter, who had been here since November after her second kidney transplant. I had been in his shoes before needing someone to vent to. It’s comforting to talk to someone who’s walked in your shoes before. The common ground brings a bond with those you don’t even know.

This afternoon, tensions were high between Amanda and I after the surgeon stirred up emotions. I knew I should have gotten the emotional support fires! An exercise physiologist came by to perform a strength and mobility evaluation. He asked questions, performed a hand strength test, and performed two walking evaluations to ensure that Amanda was physically fit for the transplant. I asked Amanda how she did on the longer walk. She said she was okay and was hurting but wasn’t about to let him know!

I was on a refresher and a french fry afternoon snack run after the day we’d had. Before I left, the new transplant doc actually came back to tell us she had talked to Dr. Nair. He told her he would get with the surgeon and come by to talk with us. As I walked out the door, I told Amanda I hope they got in a fight! I got the refresher first, then needed to make it to the Children’s food court, but from the outside, a way I’d never been before. I went to an elevator, but it wouldn’t go up. I had to go to another set of elevators to go up. Walking over, a security guard motioned me to go through a scanner. I’d noticed a no gun and knife sign on the door coming, and I didn’t want to deal with it since I was welding a small fixed-blade knife on my side, which I quickly covered with my pullover when I saw the sign! I gave an asinine “I’ll go in another way” to the security guard. She replied you can’t go another way. As I walked out the door, I said I knew I could go through St. Luke’s! She wasn’t of the stature to beat the other side to cut me off, so I wasn’t worried! I made the long walk through another clinic back to the hospital and back over. The emotional fry run took a toll on me.

I do have a praise report. There was a fundraiser that was just done at the church Sunday, a plate sale. The report I got on Sunday was that it made more than anyone expected. Today, I got a text that more came in via the offering they’d missed. The total ended up being almost exactly what it will cost to get into the apartment with the first month’s rent and security deposit. God is providing. After that, I felt that it was too much of a coincidence. It was more confirmation about getting the apartment and also a little reassurance that we wouldn’t need to move to LA.

I won’t be staying with Amanda tomorrow night. I have my class on Wednesday morning. It’s almost 30 miles away and starts at 8 am. I’ve been driving enough and don’t want to fight rush hour traffic. They provide a hotel room and I could use a good night’s sleep. So, I plan to head over in the evening, have dinner with a friend, and hit the sack early.