Heading in the Right Direction

Well, I slept good. The nearly two weeks in the hospital are catching up. I went to bed early and slept past shift change. Amanda, on the other hand, may have gotten 20 minutes, the nurse said. The sleep med did not seem to work too well. The night nurse was also lazy and didn’t get Amanda to the chair like she was supposed to, saying the night NP said it had to be PT. I was commenting to the day nurse, who was a little perturbed about it, when I started to say my thoughts, she said I didn’t have to, we were thinking the same thing!

It looks like the biggest battle now is the ICU delirium. As I’ve mentioned, I have seen it setting in for a couple of days and increasingly getting worse. Not only did she not get much sleep, but she also didn’t use the pain pump overnight much. She was holding off on pushing the button last night. I’m not sure why, saying something about she didn’t know which one was what. There’s only one button, she’s really confused. She held off some because she feels so groggy and loopy, too. She’s having a bad time with disconnection from reality as well. One ICU doctor said it was good that she could at least now tell us she was disoriented. 

The air from the pneumothorax has made its way to her neck today, too. She was really puffy when I got back from dinner last night. The surgeon said we just have to wait for the body to get rid of it. I’ve been trying to keep her awake today, but it’s a task; she just opens her eyes and falls right back asleep. PT was going to walk her and get her back in the chair, but they never showed up.

I left to get breakfast. I figured if I was going to cheat, I might as well get my favorite, I love breakfast! Cheating or not, my waistline is getting smaller, notching my belt down a bit! I went to one place, which was too busy, and another place, same story. I ended up at a Fido, one of Amanda’s favorites, and got some biscuits and gravy with sunny-side eggs and hashbrowns. What I really want is biscuits with gravy, not sausage gravy, but that seems not to be a thing here. I sat outside in the sun for a bit and ate.

I was texting Jenny, our Houston heart friend, her husband, Jeremy, brought up a good point. He said, “To us, you have been there the whole time, so she shouldn’t be looking for you. But it’s still day 1 for her because she’s been asleep most of the time.” That was a good point; she has no idea what we’ve been through over the last two weeks! Amanda will be amazed reading these posts later on, I’m sure. It has been a ride. Two weeks today, and it feels like two months.

After coming back from breakfast, I noticed she looked like a chipmunk from the trapped air! It’s a little crazy and a new experience for us. It was from her cheeks down through her neck and chest. She was alert, watching a movie I’d put on. She was in a good mood and not mad I was gone too long, at least! She was eating ice herself with a spoon out of a cup. 

Brittany had read something on sunlight and sleep cycles, so she got us a light board to help with that. We were able to get it delivered today, city life. I got it hooked up, but Amanda wasn’t a fan. It was too bright, so I have been moving it around from close to far. I’ll increase her exposure and get it out early in the morning to help her sleep-wake cycle. I’m going to work hard to keep her oriented and to bed early today, too. It’s so much easier now that she can tell me what she wants. When I returned, I set the security scanner off with the light. A search ensued, and they found the small, maybe 2” fixed blade knife on my side. After spending over two months coming in and out, I was busted. I was mad, but cordial. If you know me, then you know I’m not much for dumb rules. I had my concealed carry pistol with me in the hospital in Houston every time I rode the bus, never an issue. My solution was not returning the tiny knife to the car; I just went in a different entrance. If I haven’t stabbed anyone by now, with what we’ve gone through, I don’t think there is a risk! 

The pain doc came by, they are doing away with the pain pump and going to as-needed oral with backup IV pushes for breakthrough pain. I think we need scheduled meds, but I’ll set a timer to remind her to ask. We are headed in the right direction with pain meds, though. A lot better than none at all, where we were this time last week.

The entertainment for the afternoon was teeth brushing. It had been a couple of weeks since she’d brushed her teeth. So when the trimmer on her brush ran out, I had to remind her to brush the top teeth as well. She got a little fast and vigorous, and her rate popped up quickly, showing 250 V-tach on her monitor. Nurses came running, worried. I’m surprised a defibrillator didn’t show up! 

In the afternoon, a nurse came in whom I didn’t know. She said hi and that she was coming by to check on Amanda. She lowered her mask, and Amanda perked up and said a big, hi. She knew just who she was. I was behind on things, but caught up when she asked about the tiny Jesus, and if he was still around. I remembered Amanda telling me about her. She had a new tiny Jesus to put on our IV pump since the other one never made it out of surgery. I said maybe someone else needed the other one, and she agreed. Later, Amanda told me she had left for 10 days of vacation, and she probably came back wondering where Amanda was. Her memory isn’t failing that for sure. I, on the other hand, can barely remember where our apartment is! Later on, I got some tape and secured him to the IV pump.

Amanda is very aware of what’s going on now. She was asking about everyone, if everybody is ok. She said she wants a “level playing field” and no bad news because she gets anxious quickly. I already knew this, but she was more aware of it now. I asked my core group to send a video saying hi, reminding her it’s Sunday. Amanda questioned why they were all saying it was Sunday. She may be getting a little better. I won’t ask anyone to repeat the day since she obviously knew that!

I left for a bit to go to Hopdoddy to have a light dinner in the late afternoon. I caught Brett before shift change, and we chatted for a bit. I had a mix of brussel sprouts and fries with some green chili queso and pico. It was a good dinner. Amanda had been awake for most of the time I was gone, she said. I asked if she was just waiting for me to leave to stay awake. Just as I’m wearing down from being here so long and all the ups and downs, and need a break, Amanda is questioning the times I leave. Leaving to sit and talk with someone I know has been a nice break for me from the hospital. I’ve also been taking my Mac to work on these updates. 

As they got Amanda up to put her back in bed, she noticed oozing from old chest tube sites. They had been good, not sure if the air from the pneumothorax had anything to do with it or not. As they got her into bed, I made a run to the Amazon locker to grab a package. I had a sweet tooth, so I grabbed a slice of limoncello cake from a pizza place across the street and headed back. By the time got back to the room, I had clocked 5 miles today, maybe I burned off my cake!

This is the first day we haven’t listened to music. Last night, Amanda wanted me to turn it off early. Today, we tried watching movies. We’re currently watching a movie, 50 First Dates, an old favorite of ours, and going to bed early when it’s over. It’s about laundry day, so I need to run to the apartment. I haven’t been back since we unloaded everything. I really need to get a few things out of totes and put them up. I also need to put at least one bed frame together. David and Renee are bringing the last of our stuff up this weekend and will stay at the apartment while they’re here. 

Tonight was line change day, which means all the IV lines and pumps get swapped out. As another nurse came to grab the old IV pumps, Amanda made sure we kept tiny baby J; I’d already forgotten! The nurse who grabbed the pole and pumps told Amanda she was the nurse who got her the first night. I remembered her, but had forgotten she was the receiving nurse. She told Amanda that I said we were high school sweethearts and asked if I was telling the truth! She and our night nurse talked about how well Amanda was doing. I asked about the line changes, how often they change them, and it was 4 days. Then she acted like we might not be in the CVICU that much longer! I’m not sure about that, but it makes me feel hopeful we’ll be back in the 7MCE step-down unit, pulling our stuff out of storage soon!